I lived in Hawaii for a while, over a decade ago. In fact, Light In Motion was conceived and launched in the summer of 2001, within a month of moving to Oahu. So much has happened in the time in-between that it is hard to recall the arc of this journey and the people who made it possible. In January, I went to the islands for a Hoop Dance Retreat and the spirit of aloha that had once been a part of my daily life re-emerged and appeared all around me. Suddenly, every stranger at the retreat was greeting me with, “Aloha!” Not only that, the people I was with seemed to recognize something about me that I’d forgotten about myself. They could see I had something for them and trusted me to deliver it, even though we’d just met.
A few years ago, after years of doing readings and intuitive sessions for clients; teaching classes in meditation and developing intuition; and holding monthly gatherings for the women in my community, I hit a wall. My energy and enthusiasm began to wane. I felt overwhelmed, discouraged and when business began falling off, I lost all interest. Truth is I needed a big time out. I had lost track of my vision and sense of purpose. And yet, I’d worked so hard, spent decades of my life reading the books and taking the classes, being mentored by a couple of amazing women and building a client base, that I was terrified of letting it go. Much of my identity was tied to Light In Motion and I was afraid of disappointing people. I stood at cross purposes with myself for years, really, before I finally, finally admitted I just couldn’t do it anymore.
After a while, I took a job-job, working in an office forty hours a week and did a customary Bay Area commute. And it was hard. Much harder than I’d imagined it would be. It made me long for the days when I ran my own show, as it were. It helped me to see things differently. And I grew as a person in ways I hadn’t been
forced to able to, earlier in my working life.
When the project I was hired for wound down, I was laid off and had no idea what was next. I traveled, spent a lot of time at home, alone in deep reflection about how to move forward and laid low for months. During that fallow period, my interest was sparked by a six-week online/teleconference program called Waking the Wild Woman. As I attended the weekly calls and connected with other women who shared my interest in the revitalizing the Divine Feminine, on the Facebook group, a part of my psyche that had lain dormant for years was, indeed, reawakened. The course helped me begin to see myself with new eyes. It started to dawn on me that all those years spent wandering through the desert, feeling my way through the darkest of nights were the only way my body had of integrating what I’d spent decades collecting, learning, teaching and finally releasing.
Integration doesn’t happen when we are actively engaged with something. It only happens when we let go. As long as we cling, much of the magic and mystery inherent in that thing will elude us. It is only when we set it free and give it time that we can know what it means, and whether it belongs to us.
Aloha, in simple terms means hello, good-bye and I Love You. Light In Motion was reawakened with the breath of Aloha on the Big Island of Hawaii. Seems only fitting to experience such a full circle moment at a hoop retreat, in the islands my heart has long called home.
So, in the weeks to come, while *Mercury is retrograde, Light In Motion will undergo a review, reconsideration and repackaging of its offerings and re-emerge refreshed (maybe even be renamed) and ready to get busy. I look forward to reconnecting with former clients and meeting many new people along the way . Aloha!
*This cycle of Mercury’s retrograde phase goes from February 6-February 28, 2014