Life just seems to happen, sometimes. One thing intersects with the next, year after year, cycle upon cycle. It’s hard to keep track of it all. Our stories mount up in our memories, still active, still holding the energy of what happened, whether we were able to handle it gracefully or not. The ones that got the better of us continue to hold that same charged energy until we can sit with them and accept what happened. Those stories are the ones that shape our character, or could, if we let them.
I am sitting with a story right now. It’s something that happened between myself and some dear friends, decades ago. There were a lot of different story lines at play at the time. Each of us going through our own transformative life experiences. Each of us working through what was in front of us to do. Each of us wanting to reach dry land, where we knew where all the pieces went and we could breathe a little easier, once again. Somewhere in the middle of our shared story we lost our connection to one another. To this day, I don’t understand exactly what happened. What I do know is that the end of that shared journey opened the door to a whole other way of living and being that I would never have experienced, had those earlier friendships survived.
As challenging as it can be on a personality level to let go of loss, disappointment and unanswered prayers, being able to see how one ending facilitated a new level of depth and understanding helps us trust that there is indeed order in the universe. Life is on our side, even when it doesn’t feel like it at the time. The bigger picture, that only hind site can offer, tells a truer story than we can possibly see when we are in the middle of yet another grand finale.
These days, especially, we are seeing a lot of old stories ending. Journeys we thought would take us somewhere altogether different brought us to where we are now. The energetic climate of Life has changed and as it has, the circumstances that made certain things possible and promising no longer exist. We look around us and see that it is time for an unleveling of our lives. We have a huge opportunity to do things in a new way, to right our lives and start fresh. We just have to be willing to let go of what was.
I saw those old friends at a reunion several months ago. It was fascinating to feel the connections between us still very much alive. Things have changed and Life has taken us all in different directions but the Love that bound us once lives on, albeit in a different form. We are all on to new stories now. Letting go of how it ‘should have been’ allows us to open to what is available in this moment and write the stories we’d love to live now.
I trade in the tango of intangibles
Energy, vibration, intention and Love
Those things that no one can put a price on
The stuff that doesn’t count
For those who keep score
Mine is the invisible realm
That connects people
And offers them hope
Of healing, of joy
And another way of living
Mine is the slippery slope
Of inconvenient feelings
The unfortunate ones no one really wants
The ones that take us deep into who we are
When we are raw
Stripped of the niceties
Of a society uncomfortable
With our expressions sadness, grief
Pain or sorrow
Even our giddiness and glee
I trade in matters of the soul, you see
The part of us that speaks
In the dead of night
That whispers the dreaded truth
That the stuff we bought into
All those bright ideas
That allowed us to fit in
And find our place
Are never going to take us where we want to go
They lead us away from who we are
And the whole point of being here
Mine is the realm of the psyche
The spirit, the unconscious becoming known
The passage we are challenged to navigate
To finally hearing the call
Of the immeasurable Love we are
The Love that reminds us of what matters
The Love that, in the end
Is the only thing that counts
2014 – Jodi Lilly
Today, at the Full Moon with the Sun in Pisces and the Moon in Virgo, we are ripe for considering just what it is we believe (Pisces) and which of those beliefs are serving our conscious intentions and higher purpose for our lives and which are due for uprooting (Virgo) so we can heal (Virgo) both body and mind.
It seems so easy to stay in our comfort zones. After all, we know how it all works there. Although we might not like some of what goes on, it is familiar. What happens is predictable, even if it hurts our feelings or keeps us feeling small. To challenge what to us seems normal can feel impossible. It’s just the way it is. Isn’t it?
Well, it’s the way it is until we decide this is no longer okay with us. As children, we receive a lifetime’s worth of messages about who we are or are not, the ways in which we have been judged and found lacking, or what we believed to be true about ourselves because someone in authority said so when we were small and we’ve never forgotten how terrible it made us feel. These are the seeds of unworthiness, oftentimes unwittingly planted by the adults around us who themselves had never emotionally matured. Once those seeds take root, they sprout up everywhere, reinforcing the message that somehow we are not okay and must fight to overcome our seemingly inherent unworthiness. This is one vicious circle. The more we resist our perceived ‘failings’, the more harsh and critical the messages become. The messages have become part of our belief system. Even though we may not like them, we believe them to be true on deep, subconscious levels of ourselves. And since our beliefs form the structure that creates our reality, as long as we do not challenge them, we will continue to experience the same doubts, fears and insecurities that we always have.
If we are ready to remove ourselves from the merry-go-round of insanity, (which, by definition, is doing the same thing repeatedly, each time expecting a different outcome), we’re going to have to stretch beyond the tried and true. In this case, something being true does not make it correct or optimal. Something can be true for us because we have made it so by our acquiescence to our experience of it. Once we stop to investigate just what it is we are buying into, we begin to see the beliefs that have kept that pattern alive. And we see that on some level of our being, the belief is true for us.
As one of my favorite teachers, Bentinho Massaro says, “You can’t win from a belief.” We can fight but we will never win as long as that belief is still accepted. So, instead of fighting, we sit with the belief. We consciously acknowledge the truth of it, on the level that it has operated. And then we start to see through it to a greater truth of who we are. Not only are we not unworthy, we are infinitely worthy, here, in this life to wake up to the Truth of who we are as heart-centered beings of Love and Light, here to make a holy difference, each in our own way. .
As we extend ourselves beyond the limitations of the programming that once shaped us, our psyches begin to mend, new connections are made within us and fresh possibilities appear before us. Every time we find ourselves upset or out of sorts we have the opportunity to inquire deeper. Ask yourself what you must believe in order for the pattern you are playing out to continue occurring in your life. We cannot heal or change anything that we have not brought to consciousness. This is how we become more aware. This is how our enlightenment occurs. Every shadow of false belief about who we are that we release allows us to see and experience the world in which we live with less distortion, more joy, less strife and more flow. Our Authentic Self has never been wounded or damaged. As we align more fully with the Love that we are, the old habits of playing small and worrying about what others think dissolve and we bring more unbridled creativity to all that we do.
May the Truth of your heart light the way and guide you ever onward to the life you came, with stars in your eyes, to live, full out.
The ability to look beyond the obvious; to hold a reverence for life and its mysteries, even when we don’t understand what it all means; such is the path of the mystic. It’s not always an easy road, but for some, it’s the one that calls the heart.
At some point over the past months, my normally multi-colored world lost its vibrance. At first I thought it was just a temporary funk. Over time, it became clear that I had lost track of something vital to the way I have interacted with the world. And I couldn’t figure out exactly what it was that was missing or why. I lost perspective and had no clue how to get back to ‘normal’. Believe me, I tried.
For nearly twenty years, I have acted as a guide and way shower for others, navigating the often tricky trail of discovery and recovery of inner knowing via the inner being, the True Self. Much of my adult life has been dedicated to liberating myself from the tangled web of misunderstanding of who I am and what I am here to do. After all this time of feeling I knew what this was all about and how to walk my talk, no one was more surprised than I to find myself in such a desolate place. The interesting thing is, this was all an internal process. I was grieving something I couldn’t even name. I guess this is what it feels like to be in a cocoon…
As a Gemini and an astrologer I have often spoken about Gemini natives being the ‘Butterfly of the Zodiac’. The thing they don’t teach you in astrology books or classes is that those butterfly wings take time to develop. None of us start out knowing how to fly. Only after that caterpillar has completely released all it knew itself to be, does the transformation into butterfly begin.
One day, out of the blue, a warm, inviting breeze of inspiration began to blow. Emerging from the cocoon, not a little disoriented, I squint into the sunlight.
It isn’t just Gemini natives who undergo metamorphosis, especially these days. Eventually, we all go through it. This is particularly true in the current energetic climate that is challenging so many in ways they never dreamed they’d be tested. This is an organic process that has its own beginning and end. Astrology can be a helpful tool in understanding what we are going through. The more we can allow ourselves to be where we are in the moment, without struggling or judging, the more swiftly we can flow from there into a state of nonresistance that frees us from entanglements.
For me, inspiration is key. It is my touchstone. It’s how I know whether I am in a state of flow or resistance. Inspiration and resistance cannot coexist. If we are pushing against anything, we block everything that could otherwise show up in our lives in response to our desires. Letting go of the things that don’t really belong to us, releasing the outworn beliefs we’ve forgotten aren’t ours and giving up the ego identities that have kept our spirits boxed up and contained, will go a long way toward creating the breathing room we need in order to live the life our heart can embrace.
It really is darkest before the dawn. Sometimes fear wins for a while. It takes us down into the places within us that need to be seen and known so we can understand more of the truth of who we are. Morning does dawn, eventually, allowing us to see all in a new light, our energy renewed, inspired to create something we may never before have imagined.
When we are inspired, we see potential everywhere we look. The world calls us forth. We become a rainbow of living color that radiates out to touch all around us. Inspiration is not a switch we can consciously turn on or off. It is a function of the spirit. As we become more sensitive to what is happening in our inner world, navigating Life’s peaks and valleys gets easier and more rewarding. The most important thing is to keep coming back to the refuge of the heart. In the dark of night, it is there, pounding out the rhythm keeping us here, on sunny days, it is our truest guide to creating the life of our dreams.
May the mystical magic of your heart guide you ever onward to remembering just what a precious presence you are in this world.
Those of us who aren’t interested in traveling the well-trodden trails of the masses are often seen as a mystery to those who do. Anyone looking to upgrade and reform their life from the inside out knows that the way is seldom clear. In fact, in most cases, one is certain of nothing but the ground on which she is standing in any given moment. Such is the journey of one who knows there is more to life than what meets the eye. Those of us with fiery spirits and rebel hearts bristle at the thought of dying with our inner magic untapped, knowing we are capable of so much more. Our purpose is to rise to that which shines brightest within us and become masters of our lives.
Some of us are here to be living examples, expressing our true potential as humans. In so doing, others see what is possible for them, as well. We may not know the details of how it will happen or the exact destination, but we have heard the call and trust that we are well on our way to living the extraordinary life we came to claim.
I’m still thinking about last week’s full moon in the sign of Venus-ruled Taurus. When I uploaded my full moon pictures, I saw that this one had a rainbow around the top of the moon. After years of taking pictures of the moon, I have never before seen this! It was as if Venus, just a handful of degrees from the Sun in Scorpio, at the time, was projecting her creative flair to help the moon reflect even more brilliance in her fullness.
We have been through such an intense time of change, in the past few months, especially. So many people I know are undergoing major life-changes. Some of these people have chosen their changes, others definitely did not. Regardless of what prompted the change, having skillful means for navigating life’s transitions can make all the difference. I love the quote I’ve been hearing a lot lately, that says, “Life isn’t happening to you. It’s happening for you.” That simple change in perspective opens us to new possibilities. And while we may not have a choice about exactly what has happened, we have a choice about how we will act in response.
I have been through a lot of life-changing times; we all have. One of the things that helps me the most is the gift of hindsight. Being able to look back at situations that felt like ‘the end of the world’ at the time, turned out to be simply, ‘the end of the world as I knew it’. And each of those transitional times opened my heart and life in ways that allowed me to take actions that I would never have considered, back when I was comfortable and my life was predictable.
My Sun (ego/heart of the self) and Mercury (communication/intellect) are in the Mutable Air sign of Gemini. However, my Ascendant, Venus, Moon, Pluto, and Saturn are all in Fixed signs. So while my heart and mind are all for changing things, keeping them fresh, and entertaining all kinds of creative possibilities, (especially mentally!) my body, sensibilities, emotions and sense of responsibility are wired for predictability and stability, at all costs. So, while I can easily counsel others on the value of making wise choices about the crossroads before them, I know what it is to come up against a lot of internal resistance to taking action until the parts of myself that have concerns are addressed.
We all have obstacles and legitimate concerns about how to move forward when staying put is no longer an option. As we look back at other turning points, we see that we did make it through. Things did work out. Oftentimes, in ways we could never have foreseen and better than we could have imagined. One of the best tools I have discovered for navigating life’s ups and downs is to take a few moments when relaxed, to close my eyes and imagine the situation about which I am concerned and really feel the internal resistance I am experiencing around this topic. When the feelings are strong, I imagine myself melting all of that resistance and let my body release it, as well. Then I flip the situation and see it in a way that feels ideal, to me. Dwelling for a little while in that heightened state of awareness and allowing it to seep into my being, helps to open the creative floodgates for new possibilities to actually occur.
If the moon can have a rainbow, so can you. Keep looking up. You just never know what you might see.
I took this picture last week, while on vacation in Mexico. Watching the sun set over the Pacific reminded me of the early years of Light In Motion, when I was living at the beach, in Hawaii. So much was seeded for me during that time, when I had hours to walk on that all but deserted stretch of soft, white sand that went miles further than I ever got. There was time to dream and meditate and envision what might be possible. Enough time to begin putting my own ‘light’ into motion and begin offering services that not only spoke to my soul but allowed my soul an opening through which to speak to others.
The Sun is in Scorpio now, the sign of sex, death and rebirth. Transformation is the keyword for those with Scorpio strong in their natal chart. These natives will experience the deeper mysteries in profound and life-changing ways. And like the Phoenix, will rise, again and again, from the ashes to recreate themselves, based on the depth of understanding they have gathered, to start anew.
Beginnings are fragile things. It would be many, many years before I would understand some of the visions and guidance that I received during that unparalleled time that changed everything. There have been many fits and starts and changing of direction, since then. Now I realized that it has all been a necessary part of the journey, in order to be of greater benefit to those seeking guidance on the important transitions in their lives.
While the Sun is in Scorpio, we are all more attuned to the deeper mysteries. The lines between the seen and unseen world soften and offer access to more than we could otherwise see or know. The subconscious mind is more active, revealing long-held secrets. As the days grow shorter there is more time for dreaming and entertaining ideas of what might be possible if we changed it and made it the way we’d always hoped it could be. During this time, we have the opportunity to release much that has bound our minds to the past and free ourselves to live more fully in the present.
In so many ways, the work I do is about assisting others in making the changes that help keep them in a state of balanced flow in these swiftly changing times. May all of your transitions be smooth.
This picture was taken by a friend at a Friday night hoop jam at a retreat in Hawaii. I had just gotten into a good hoop flow as she was snapping a few shots. Suddenly, the hoop launched from my hand and flew across the floor! It happens. All the time. Pretty much any time we pick up the hoop we hoopers know that sooner or later it will either fall or be flung from our hand, just about the time we felt like we were getting somewhere.
Life is the same way, sometimes. You roll along feeling like you know what you are doing and where you are going and then seemingly out of the blue your brain plays a little trick on you and the thing you were so sure you’d done correctly; exactly the way you’d done it before, doesn’t work. I did an astrology chart for a friend about the time Mercury went retrograde and as we started talking, realized the chart was incorrect. I was able to quickly pull up a correct version from an online resource, so all was not lost. As it turned out though, we hadn’t really needed the chart. Whereas in the past this whole thing would have mortified me, today, I trust that there is a reason and do my best to honor what is happening. Later, a little concerned that my software program had malfunctioned, I realized that the only malfunction was created by my not having entered her information into my astrology software exactly right, which is why it rendered the wrong chart…
This particular Mercury retrograde phase has demonstrated in my experience in some interesting ways. Yesterday I was to meet a friend for a quick errand, squeezing it in between other commitments. I input the address into my GPS just to be sure I didn’t waste any time. I ended up about three miles away from our meeting place. “You have arrived at your destination!” announced the lady in my phone… No, I haven’t. A quick call to my friend revealed that I had left the word Plaza out of the GPS search… I got where I needed to be but with less time than we’d hoped for. Next, I rushed home for a Skype call and got a phone call saying she couldn’t get Skype to work. We fiddled with it for fifteen minutes until finally, SUCCESS! We were off and running.
On the other hand, I set up an online account, I’ve been meaning to create for a while now, that allows me to share pictures with friends and family easily and privately; found some important papers I’d misplaced; retrieved a case containing some very expensive headphones, that had absentmindedly been put into the waste basket and buried by papers; and I made some upgrades to my websites.
When glitchy things happen we are being shown that:
1. We have an opportunity to do things differently
2. We’re not paying close enough attention to what we are doing
3. We’re moving faster than is wise right now
Mercury’s retrograde phase is the time to pick up loose ends that we dropped at some earlier time, reconnect with people from our past, clean up our files and records (just in time for filing income tax returns) and rest. As we slow down it is so much easier to see what matters to us and what we are ready to release from our lives. This is not the time to start something brand new but it might be perfect for reconstituting something that had value for us in the past and would bring joy to our life today if we pick it up and dust it off.
Mercury’s current retrograde cycle began on February 6 and will end of February 28th. You can make the most of this time by redoing, reconsidering, refining, recycling, reviewing, reuniting, remembering, revealing, reconstructing, redirecting, recapitulating, restoring, refinancing, replacing and recreating. If you play your cosmic cards right, by the end of the month your life could be running smooth and shining like a new penny.
As a young adult everything in my outer world changed and yet I felt alone. They sky has been a safe haven for me for as long as I can remember. Even today, as savvy and sophisticated as I like to think I am, I retreat to the sky with that same hope and prayer in my heart. The sky reminds me of something I’ve yet to put my fingers on.
As a practicing astrologer you’d think I’d have figured it all out by now. Instead, I engage in the mystery and magic of the stars twinkling overhead that always call to my heart. There is something sacred in the silence of the sky. Something my spirit has always understood.
See for yourself, next time you find yourself sleepless in the middle of the night. As you behold the sky’s vast and sparkling darkness, feel into the Grace, wonder and wisdom it holds for you. Sky gazing helps us shift out of the details and into the miracle of being alive, here and now, on planet earth.
*This was the very first posting (with a couple of updates) to this blog which was launched on August 27, 2006.
**In honor of this cycle of Mercury’s Retrograde phase, I will be reposting some of the original writings from this blog. This is in part to help me consciously remember, review and re-collect some of earlier steps of this journey and share some of that inspiration with all of you.