Something Lost Something Found

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Lost my rhythm
Lost my rhymes
Lost my reasons
Lost my time

Lost my purpose
Lost the point
Lost the passion
Lost my mind

Lost my heart
My head
My hands
Lost the part that understands

Lost the things
That held me fast
But broke my heart
Never meant to last

Lost in time
Dreams drift and pass
Lost forever
I’m free at last

4/30/2014 – Jodi Lilly – All Rights Reserved


The Story Starts at the End

The Story Starts at the End of One Long Journey-2

Life just seems to happen, sometimes. One thing intersects with the next, year after year, cycle upon cycle. It’s hard to keep track of it all. Our stories mount up in our memories, still active, still holding the energy of what happened, whether we were able to handle it gracefully or not. The ones that got the better of us continue to hold that same charged energy until we can sit with them and accept what happened. Those stories are the ones that shape our character, or could, if we let them.

I am sitting with a story right now. It’s something that happened between myself and some dear friends, decades ago. There were a lot of different story lines at play at the time. Each of us going through our own transformative life experiences. Each of us working through what was in front of us to do. Each of us wanting to reach dry land, where we knew where all the pieces went and we could breathe a little easier, once again. Somewhere in the middle of our shared story we lost our connection to one another. To this day, I don’t understand exactly what happened. What I do know is that the end of that shared journey opened the door to a whole other way of living and being that I would never have experienced, had those earlier friendships survived.

As challenging as it can be on a personality level to let go of loss, disappointment and unanswered prayers, being able to see how one ending facilitated a new level of depth and understanding helps us trust that there is indeed order in the universe. Life is on our side, even when it doesn’t feel like it at the time. The bigger picture, that only hind site can offer, tells a truer story than we can possibly see when we are in the middle of yet another grand finale.

These days, especially, we are seeing a lot of old stories ending. Journeys we thought would take us somewhere altogether different brought us to where we are now. The energetic climate of Life has changed and as it has, the circumstances that made certain things possible and promising no longer exist. We look around us and see that it is time for an unleveling of our lives. We have a huge opportunity to do things in a new way, to right our lives and start fresh. We just have to be willing to let go of what was.

I saw those old friends at a reunion several months ago. It was fascinating to feel the connections between us still very much alive. Things have changed and Life has taken us all in different directions but the Love that bound us once lives on, albeit in a different form. We are all on to new stories now. Letting go of how it ‘should have been’ allows us to open to what is available in this moment and write the stories we’d love to live now.


Healing at the Virgo Full Moon – Stretch, Extend, Mend the Mind

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Today, at the Full Moon with the Sun in Pisces and the Moon in Virgo, we are ripe for considering just what it is we believe (Pisces) and which of those beliefs are serving our conscious intentions and higher purpose for our lives and which are due for uprooting (Virgo) so we can heal (Virgo) both body and mind.

It seems so easy to stay in our comfort zones. After all, we know how it all works there. Although we might not like some of what goes on, it is familiar. What happens is predictable, even if it hurts our feelings or keeps us feeling small. To challenge what to us seems normal can feel impossible. It’s just the way it is. Isn’t it?

Well, it’s the way it is until we decide this is no longer okay with us. As children, we receive a lifetime’s worth of messages about who we are or are not, the ways in which we have been judged and found lacking, or what we believed to be true about ourselves because someone in authority said so when we were small and we’ve never forgotten how terrible it made us feel. These are the seeds of unworthiness, oftentimes unwittingly planted by the adults around us who themselves had never emotionally matured. Once those seeds take root, they sprout up everywhere, reinforcing the message that somehow we are not okay and must fight to overcome our seemingly inherent unworthiness. This is one vicious circle. The more we resist our perceived ‘failings’, the more harsh and critical the messages become. The messages have become part of our belief system. Even though we may not like them, we believe them to be true on deep, subconscious levels of ourselves. And since our beliefs form the structure that creates our reality, as long as we do not challenge them, we will continue to experience the same doubts, fears and insecurities that we always have.

If we are ready to remove ourselves from the merry-go-round of insanity, (which, by definition, is doing the same thing repeatedly, each time expecting a different outcome), we’re going to have to stretch beyond the tried and true. In this case, something being true does not make it correct or optimal. Something can be true for us because we have made it so by our acquiescence to our experience of it. Once we stop to investigate just what it is we are buying into, we begin to see the beliefs that have kept that pattern alive. And we see that on some level of our being, the belief is true for us.

As one of my favorite teachers, Bentinho Massaro says, “You can’t win from a belief.” We can fight but we will never win as long as that belief is still accepted. So, instead of fighting, we sit with the belief. We consciously acknowledge the truth of it, on the level that it has operated. And then we start to see through it to a greater truth of who we are. Not only are we not unworthy, we are infinitely worthy, here, in this life to wake up to the Truth of who we are as heart-centered beings of Love and Light, here to make a holy difference, each in our own way. .

As we extend ourselves beyond the limitations of the programming that once shaped us, our psyches begin to mend, new connections are made within us and fresh possibilities appear before us. Every time we find ourselves upset or out of sorts we have the opportunity to inquire deeper. Ask yourself what you must believe in order for the pattern you are playing out to continue occurring in your life. We cannot heal or change anything that we have not brought to consciousness. This is how we become more aware. This is how our enlightenment occurs. Every shadow of false belief about who we are that we release allows us to see and experience the world in which we live with less distortion, more joy, less strife and more flow. Our Authentic Self has never been wounded or damaged. As we align more fully with the Love that we are, the old habits of playing small and worrying about what others think dissolve and we bring more unbridled creativity to all that we do.

May the Truth of your heart light the way and guide you ever onward to the life you came, with stars in your eyes, to live, full out.

Love, Jodi


Either All In(spired) or Not At All

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Seeing What Could Be  – Photographer Unknown

 

The ability to look beyond the obvious; to hold a reverence for life and its mysteries, even when we don’t understand what it all means; such is the path of the mystic. It’s not always an easy road, but for some, it’s the one that calls the heart.

At some point over the past months, my normally multi-colored world lost its vibrance. At first I thought it was just a temporary funk. Over time, it became clear that I had lost track of something vital to the way I have interacted with the world. And I couldn’t figure out exactly what it was that was missing or why. I lost perspective and had no clue how to get back to ‘normal’. Believe me, I tried.

For nearly twenty years, I have acted as a guide and way shower for others, navigating the often tricky trail of discovery and recovery of inner knowing via the inner being, the True Self. Much of my adult life has been dedicated to liberating myself from the tangled web of misunderstanding of who I am and what I am here to do. After all this time of feeling I knew what this was all about and how to walk my talk, no one was more surprised than I to find myself in such a desolate place. The interesting thing is, this was all an internal process. I was grieving something I couldn’t even name. I guess this is what it feels like to be in a cocoon…

As a Gemini and an astrologer I have often spoken about Gemini natives being the ‘Butterfly of the Zodiac’. The thing they don’t teach you in astrology books or classes is that those butterfly wings take time to develop. None of us start out knowing how to fly. Only after that caterpillar has completely released all it knew itself to be, does the transformation into butterfly begin.

One day, out of the blue, a warm, inviting breeze of inspiration began to blow. Emerging from the cocoon, not a little disoriented, I squint into the sunlight.

It isn’t just Gemini natives who undergo metamorphosis, especially these days. Eventually, we all go through it. This is particularly true in the current energetic climate that is challenging so many in ways they never dreamed they’d be tested. This is an organic process that has its own beginning and end. Astrology can be a helpful tool in understanding what we are going through. The more we can allow ourselves to be where we are in the moment, without struggling or judging, the more swiftly we can flow from there into a state of nonresistance that frees us from entanglements.

For me, inspiration is key. It is my touchstone. It’s how I know whether I am in a state of flow or resistance. Inspiration and resistance cannot coexist. If we are pushing against anything, we block everything that could otherwise show up in our lives in response to our desires. Letting go of the things that don’t really belong to us, releasing the outworn beliefs we’ve forgotten aren’t ours and giving up the ego identities that have kept our spirits boxed up and contained, will go a long way toward creating the breathing room we need in order to live the life our heart can embrace.

It really is darkest before the dawn. Sometimes fear wins for a while. It takes us down into the places within us that need to be seen and known so we can understand more of the truth of who we are. Morning does dawn, eventually, allowing us to see all in a new light, our energy renewed, inspired to create something we may never before have imagined.

When we are inspired, we see potential everywhere we look. The world calls us forth. We become a rainbow of living color that radiates out to touch all around us. Inspiration is not a switch we can consciously turn on or off. It is a function of the spirit. As we become more sensitive to what is happening in our inner world, navigating Life’s peaks and valleys gets easier and more rewarding. The most important thing is to keep coming back to the refuge of the heart. In the dark of night, it is there, pounding out the rhythm keeping us here, on sunny days, it is our truest guide to creating the life of our dreams.

May the mystical magic of your heart guide you ever onward to remembering just what a precious presence you are in this world.

Love,

Jodi

 

 


People Always Asked Her…

People Always Asked

Those of us who aren’t interested in traveling the well-trodden trails of the masses are often seen as a mystery to those who do. Anyone looking to upgrade and reform their life from the inside out knows that the way is seldom clear. In fact, in most cases, one is certain of nothing but the ground on which she is standing in any given moment. Such is the journey of one who knows there is more to life than what meets the eye. Those of us with fiery spirits and rebel hearts bristle at the thought of dying with our inner magic untapped, knowing we are capable of so much more. Our purpose is to rise to that which shines brightest within us and become masters of our lives.

Some of us are here to be living examples, expressing our true potential as humans. In so doing, others see what is possible for them, as well. We may not know the details of how it will happen or the exact destination, but we have heard the call and trust that we are well on our way to living the extraordinary life we came to claim.


Scorpio – Living the Mystery

Capricorn Full Moon over Santa Barbara - July 2014 Photo by Jodi Lilly

Capricorn Full Moon over Santa Barbara – July 2014 Photo by Jodi Lilly

Moonlight beams down

Softening hard edges

And clean lines

Mystery rules the night

 

The sky

Alive

With its own brand of light

Offers solace

In which to release

The harsher realities of the day

 

Gazing out over the ocean

The full moon

A jewel among the stars

Invites reflection

Offers comfort

At a time when I feel so alone

 

Why am I here?

I ask

Why is this so hard?

What happened

To all those dreams

That once drew me forth?

 

Like art

On an enchanted canvas

Stars twinkle in reply

I see my questions

Are small matters

In the big scheme of things

 

The answers lie

In this moment

In witnessing the magnificence

In holding this holy moment

Communion with the sky

In not only eyes and mind

But Heart and Soul

 

Life is a mystery

Living the mystery

With open Heart and Mind

Offers magic

Unseen

When we think

We already know

 

October 31, 2006

(C) Jodi Lilly – All rights reserved


Scorpio ~Setting Suns and Rebirth From the Ashes

 

Puerto Vallarta Sunset (c) Jodi Lilly

Puerto Vallarta Sunset (c) Jodi Lilly

I took this picture last week, while on vacation in Mexico. Watching the sun set over the Pacific reminded me of the early years of Light In Motion, when I was living at the beach, in Hawaii. So much was seeded for me during that time, when I had hours to walk on that all but deserted stretch of soft, white sand that went miles further than I ever got. There was time to dream and meditate and envision what might be possible. Enough time to begin putting my own ‘light’ into motion and begin offering services that not only spoke to my soul but allowed my soul an opening through which to speak to others.

The Sun is in Scorpio now, the sign of sex, death and rebirth. Transformation is the keyword for those with Scorpio strong in their natal chart. These natives will experience the deeper mysteries in profound and life-changing ways. And like the Phoenix, will rise, again and again, from the ashes to recreate themselves, based on the depth of understanding they have gathered, to start anew.

Beginnings are fragile things. It would be many, many years before I would understand some of the visions and guidance that I received during that unparalleled time that changed everything. There have been many fits and starts and changing of direction, since then. Now I realized that it has all been a necessary part of the journey, in order to be of greater benefit to those seeking guidance on the important transitions in their lives.

While the Sun is in Scorpio, we are all more attuned to the deeper mysteries. The lines between the seen and unseen world soften and offer access to more than we could otherwise see or know. The subconscious mind is more active, revealing long-held secrets. As the days grow shorter there is more time for dreaming and entertaining ideas of what might be possible if we changed it and made it the way we’d always hoped it could be. During this time, we have the opportunity to release much that has bound our minds to the past and free ourselves to live more fully in the present.

In so many ways, the work I do is about assisting others in making the changes that help keep them in a state of balanced flow in these swiftly changing times. May all of your transitions be smooth.

Love,

Jodi


One Size Never Fit All

 

Reclining Goddess - Kalani Retreat Center - Hawaii (c) 2014 Jodi Lilly

Reclining Goddess – Kalani Retreat Center – Hawaii (c) 2014 Jodi Lilly

This is not a ‘one size fits all’ world. Human beings are wired to be unique. The better we know ourselves, the more we realize that what works for others does not and will not ever work for us. You are here to express something specific by way of your Presence and Creative Self Expression. All the wisdom tools in the world are no replacement for self awareness and conscious interaction with your environment.

As the famous quote from Goethe says, As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live. Trust is an inside job. It develops over time and comes from life experience and awareness. The better we know ourselves, the more easily we can find our way.

I was rewriting the About page of this site, today, again… Why is it so difficult to say what I do in my work with clients? Maybe because each session truly is unique. I show up never really knowing what we will be covering or where it will take us. I have learned to do this over many years. I used to have a pretty heavy and specific agenda for how a reading was supposed to look and sound. People are more complicated than that, though. Some need a lot of information. Some just need to be seen and heard. Others are undergoing a challenging life transition and are looking for tools to help them get through it.

When I show up with my heart open and willing to assist in the way that is of greatest service to the client, amazing things can happen. We have space in which to explore the most valuable direction to go in our time together. Breakthroughs occur; sometimes breakdowns happen, that open the emotional floodgates to reveal answers they could not see before.

I have had some excellent readings in my time, from gifted psychics and healers. The ones that served me best went at the speed and intensity I was ready for and offered information I could use. It took me a long time to get to the point where I had the experience and information I needed, to trust myself. And it was well worth everything it took to get here.

Developing a relationship with the inner self opens the doors to a much richer and rewarding life. Trust begins to occur, organically, once we establish that connection.

Love, always,

Jodi


When a Breakthrough Feels Like a Breakdown ~BIG Shifts Happen

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The BIG Shifts interview I did this week with my longtime friend and colleague Adela Rubio is now available for replay on BIG Shifts. I love talking transformation and the many gifts wound around those times of intense change that we all go through. Adela and I have both been through many game changing experiences, and have been inspired to craft much of the work we do in the world around this topic. So, this was one juicy, high-energy conversation.

In the interview, you will hear about one of the major big shifts I went through that peaked during the period from mid-2001 to the end of 2002. It started when I moved to Hawaii, a dream come true, and ended when my guy lost his job and we ended up back in California. Those eighteen months were some of the highest and lowest periods of my life. There were some amazing gifts that came out of that time, most of them not about what I gained but what I no longer needed to carry. Although, at the time it often felt a lot like a breakdown, it was actually a huge breakthrough. Even twelve years later, I am discovering more about what that powerful time was all about, not just for myself, but for all of us.

I share a couple of tips for navigating your own big shifts with ease and grace. Check out the interview and let me know if you found it helpful.

If you’d like to join the BIG Shifts Program, this 30 Day Program started on October 8th, so is already under way, but community access means you will still be able to see everything that has happened. Membership is free of charge and you will receive lots of great tips on navigating your own BIG Shifts and hearing from others on the Transformation Team who have so much good stuff to share.

Shift easy and (as I tell those in my hoop classes) don’t forget to breathe,
Jodi

P.S. Adela mentioned that I teach hoop dance, several times in the interview but we never got around to talking about it. My other site is called Goddess Hoop Dance. My journey to the hoop was another of my BIG Shifts. I’ll write more about that another day.


By The Light Of The Silvery Moon

Moon Through BranchesI’ve always been in love with the sky. When I felt lost or alone as a child I looked long and hard into the night sky as if the answers to my prayers were there waiting for me to notice them.

As a young adult everything in my outer world changed and yet I felt alone. They sky has been a safe haven for me for as long as I can remember. Even today, as savvy and sophisticated as I like to think I am, I retreat to the sky with that same hope and prayer in my heart. The sky reminds me of something I’ve yet to put my fingers on.

As a practicing astrologer you’d think I’d have figured it all out by now. Instead, I engage in the mystery and magic of the stars twinkling overhead that always call to my heart. There is something sacred in the silence of the sky. Something my spirit has always understood.

See for yourself, next time you find yourself sleepless in the middle of the night. As you behold the sky’s vast and sparkling darkness, feel into the Grace, wonder and wisdom it holds for you. Sky gazing helps us shift out of the details and into the miracle of being alive, here and now, on planet earth.

*This was the very first posting (with a couple of updates) to this blog  which was launched on August 27, 2006.

**In honor of this cycle of Mercury’s Retrograde phase, I will be reposting some of the original writings from this blog. This is in part to help me consciously remember, review and re-collect some of earlier steps of this journey and share some of that inspiration with all of you.