Something Lost Something Found

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Lost my rhythm
Lost my rhymes
Lost my reasons
Lost my time

Lost my purpose
Lost the point
Lost the passion
Lost my mind

Lost my heart
My head
My hands
Lost the part that understands

Lost the things
That held me fast
But broke my heart
Never meant to last

Lost in time
Dreams drift and pass
Lost forever
I’m free at last

4/30/2014 – Jodi Lilly – All Rights Reserved


The Story Starts at the End

The Story Starts at the End of One Long Journey-2

Life just seems to happen, sometimes. One thing intersects with the next, year after year, cycle upon cycle. It’s hard to keep track of it all. Our stories mount up in our memories, still active, still holding the energy of what happened, whether we were able to handle it gracefully or not. The ones that got the better of us continue to hold that same charged energy until we can sit with them and accept what happened. Those stories are the ones that shape our character, or could, if we let them.

I am sitting with a story right now. It’s something that happened between myself and some dear friends, decades ago. There were a lot of different story lines at play at the time. Each of us going through our own transformative life experiences. Each of us working through what was in front of us to do. Each of us wanting to reach dry land, where we knew where all the pieces went and we could breathe a little easier, once again. Somewhere in the middle of our shared story we lost our connection to one another. To this day, I don’t understand exactly what happened. What I do know is that the end of that shared journey opened the door to a whole other way of living and being that I would never have experienced, had those earlier friendships survived.

As challenging as it can be on a personality level to let go of loss, disappointment and unanswered prayers, being able to see how one ending facilitated a new level of depth and understanding helps us trust that there is indeed order in the universe. Life is on our side, even when it doesn’t feel like it at the time. The bigger picture, that only hind site can offer, tells a truer story than we can possibly see when we are in the middle of yet another grand finale.

These days, especially, we are seeing a lot of old stories ending. Journeys we thought would take us somewhere altogether different brought us to where we are now. The energetic climate of Life has changed and as it has, the circumstances that made certain things possible and promising no longer exist. We look around us and see that it is time for an unleveling of our lives. We have a huge opportunity to do things in a new way, to right our lives and start fresh. We just have to be willing to let go of what was.

I saw those old friends at a reunion several months ago. It was fascinating to feel the connections between us still very much alive. Things have changed and Life has taken us all in different directions but the Love that bound us once lives on, albeit in a different form. We are all on to new stories now. Letting go of how it ‘should have been’ allows us to open to what is available in this moment and write the stories we’d love to live now.


The Tango of Intangibles

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I trade in the tango of intangibles

Energy, vibration, intention and Love

Those things that no one can put a price on

The stuff that doesn’t count

For those who keep score

 

Mine is the invisible realm

That connects people

And offers them hope

Of healing, of joy

And another way of living

 

Mine is the slippery slope

Of inconvenient feelings

The unfortunate ones no one really wants

The ones that take us deep into who we are

When we are raw

Stripped of the niceties

Of a society uncomfortable

With our expressions sadness, grief

Pain or sorrow

Even our giddiness and glee

 

I trade in matters of the soul, you see

The part of us that speaks

In the dead of night

That whispers the dreaded truth

That the stuff we bought into

All those bright ideas

That allowed us to fit in

And find our place

Are never going to take us where we want to go

They lead us away from who we are

And the whole point of being here

 

Mine is the realm of the psyche

The spirit, the unconscious becoming known

The passage we are challenged to navigate

From survival

To finally hearing the call

Of the immeasurable Love we are

The Love that reminds us of what matters

The Love that, in the end

Is the only thing that counts

 

2014 – Jodi Lilly


Healing at the Virgo Full Moon – Stretch, Extend, Mend the Mind

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Today, at the Full Moon with the Sun in Pisces and the Moon in Virgo, we are ripe for considering just what it is we believe (Pisces) and which of those beliefs are serving our conscious intentions and higher purpose for our lives and which are due for uprooting (Virgo) so we can heal (Virgo) both body and mind.

It seems so easy to stay in our comfort zones. After all, we know how it all works there. Although we might not like some of what goes on, it is familiar. What happens is predictable, even if it hurts our feelings or keeps us feeling small. To challenge what to us seems normal can feel impossible. It’s just the way it is. Isn’t it?

Well, it’s the way it is until we decide this is no longer okay with us. As children, we receive a lifetime’s worth of messages about who we are or are not, the ways in which we have been judged and found lacking, or what we believed to be true about ourselves because someone in authority said so when we were small and we’ve never forgotten how terrible it made us feel. These are the seeds of unworthiness, oftentimes unwittingly planted by the adults around us who themselves had never emotionally matured. Once those seeds take root, they sprout up everywhere, reinforcing the message that somehow we are not okay and must fight to overcome our seemingly inherent unworthiness. This is one vicious circle. The more we resist our perceived ‘failings’, the more harsh and critical the messages become. The messages have become part of our belief system. Even though we may not like them, we believe them to be true on deep, subconscious levels of ourselves. And since our beliefs form the structure that creates our reality, as long as we do not challenge them, we will continue to experience the same doubts, fears and insecurities that we always have.

If we are ready to remove ourselves from the merry-go-round of insanity, (which, by definition, is doing the same thing repeatedly, each time expecting a different outcome), we’re going to have to stretch beyond the tried and true. In this case, something being true does not make it correct or optimal. Something can be true for us because we have made it so by our acquiescence to our experience of it. Once we stop to investigate just what it is we are buying into, we begin to see the beliefs that have kept that pattern alive. And we see that on some level of our being, the belief is true for us.

As one of my favorite teachers, Bentinho Massaro says, “You can’t win from a belief.” We can fight but we will never win as long as that belief is still accepted. So, instead of fighting, we sit with the belief. We consciously acknowledge the truth of it, on the level that it has operated. And then we start to see through it to a greater truth of who we are. Not only are we not unworthy, we are infinitely worthy, here, in this life to wake up to the Truth of who we are as heart-centered beings of Love and Light, here to make a holy difference, each in our own way. .

As we extend ourselves beyond the limitations of the programming that once shaped us, our psyches begin to mend, new connections are made within us and fresh possibilities appear before us. Every time we find ourselves upset or out of sorts we have the opportunity to inquire deeper. Ask yourself what you must believe in order for the pattern you are playing out to continue occurring in your life. We cannot heal or change anything that we have not brought to consciousness. This is how we become more aware. This is how our enlightenment occurs. Every shadow of false belief about who we are that we release allows us to see and experience the world in which we live with less distortion, more joy, less strife and more flow. Our Authentic Self has never been wounded or damaged. As we align more fully with the Love that we are, the old habits of playing small and worrying about what others think dissolve and we bring more unbridled creativity to all that we do.

May the Truth of your heart light the way and guide you ever onward to the life you came, with stars in your eyes, to live, full out.

Love, Jodi