The Story Starts at the End

The Story Starts at the End of One Long Journey-2

Life just seems to happen, sometimes. One thing intersects with the next, year after year, cycle upon cycle. It’s hard to keep track of it all. Our stories mount up in our memories, still active, still holding the energy of what happened, whether we were able to handle it gracefully or not. The ones that got the better of us continue to hold that same charged energy until we can sit with them and accept what happened. Those stories are the ones that shape our character, or could, if we let them.

I am sitting with a story right now. It’s something that happened between myself and some dear friends, decades ago. There were a lot of different story lines at play at the time. Each of us going through our own transformative life experiences. Each of us working through what was in front of us to do. Each of us wanting to reach dry land, where we knew where all the pieces went and we could breathe a little easier, once again. Somewhere in the middle of our shared story we lost our connection to one another. To this day, I don’t understand exactly what happened. What I do know is that the end of that shared journey opened the door to a whole other way of living and being that I would never have experienced, had those earlier friendships survived.

As challenging as it can be on a personality level to let go of loss, disappointment and unanswered prayers, being able to see how one ending facilitated a new level of depth and understanding helps us trust that there is indeed order in the universe. Life is on our side, even when it doesn’t feel like it at the time. The bigger picture, that only hind site can offer, tells a truer story than we can possibly see when we are in the middle of yet another grand finale.

These days, especially, we are seeing a lot of old stories ending. Journeys we thought would take us somewhere altogether different brought us to where we are now. The energetic climate of Life has changed and as it has, the circumstances that made certain things possible and promising no longer exist. We look around us and see that it is time for an unleveling of our lives. We have a huge opportunity to do things in a new way, to right our lives and start fresh. We just have to be willing to let go of what was.

I saw those old friends at a reunion several months ago. It was fascinating to feel the connections between us still very much alive. Things have changed and Life has taken us all in different directions but the Love that bound us once lives on, albeit in a different form. We are all on to new stories now. Letting go of how it ‘should have been’ allows us to open to what is available in this moment and write the stories we’d love to live now.


Healing at the Virgo Full Moon – Stretch, Extend, Mend the Mind

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Today, at the Full Moon with the Sun in Pisces and the Moon in Virgo, we are ripe for considering just what it is we believe (Pisces) and which of those beliefs are serving our conscious intentions and higher purpose for our lives and which are due for uprooting (Virgo) so we can heal (Virgo) both body and mind.

It seems so easy to stay in our comfort zones. After all, we know how it all works there. Although we might not like some of what goes on, it is familiar. What happens is predictable, even if it hurts our feelings or keeps us feeling small. To challenge what to us seems normal can feel impossible. It’s just the way it is. Isn’t it?

Well, it’s the way it is until we decide this is no longer okay with us. As children, we receive a lifetime’s worth of messages about who we are or are not, the ways in which we have been judged and found lacking, or what we believed to be true about ourselves because someone in authority said so when we were small and we’ve never forgotten how terrible it made us feel. These are the seeds of unworthiness, oftentimes unwittingly planted by the adults around us who themselves had never emotionally matured. Once those seeds take root, they sprout up everywhere, reinforcing the message that somehow we are not okay and must fight to overcome our seemingly inherent unworthiness. This is one vicious circle. The more we resist our perceived ‘failings’, the more harsh and critical the messages become. The messages have become part of our belief system. Even though we may not like them, we believe them to be true on deep, subconscious levels of ourselves. And since our beliefs form the structure that creates our reality, as long as we do not challenge them, we will continue to experience the same doubts, fears and insecurities that we always have.

If we are ready to remove ourselves from the merry-go-round of insanity, (which, by definition, is doing the same thing repeatedly, each time expecting a different outcome), we’re going to have to stretch beyond the tried and true. In this case, something being true does not make it correct or optimal. Something can be true for us because we have made it so by our acquiescence to our experience of it. Once we stop to investigate just what it is we are buying into, we begin to see the beliefs that have kept that pattern alive. And we see that on some level of our being, the belief is true for us.

As one of my favorite teachers, Bentinho Massaro says, “You can’t win from a belief.” We can fight but we will never win as long as that belief is still accepted. So, instead of fighting, we sit with the belief. We consciously acknowledge the truth of it, on the level that it has operated. And then we start to see through it to a greater truth of who we are. Not only are we not unworthy, we are infinitely worthy, here, in this life to wake up to the Truth of who we are as heart-centered beings of Love and Light, here to make a holy difference, each in our own way. .

As we extend ourselves beyond the limitations of the programming that once shaped us, our psyches begin to mend, new connections are made within us and fresh possibilities appear before us. Every time we find ourselves upset or out of sorts we have the opportunity to inquire deeper. Ask yourself what you must believe in order for the pattern you are playing out to continue occurring in your life. We cannot heal or change anything that we have not brought to consciousness. This is how we become more aware. This is how our enlightenment occurs. Every shadow of false belief about who we are that we release allows us to see and experience the world in which we live with less distortion, more joy, less strife and more flow. Our Authentic Self has never been wounded or damaged. As we align more fully with the Love that we are, the old habits of playing small and worrying about what others think dissolve and we bring more unbridled creativity to all that we do.

May the Truth of your heart light the way and guide you ever onward to the life you came, with stars in your eyes, to live, full out.

Love, Jodi


Either All In(spired) or Not At All

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Seeing What Could Be  – Photographer Unknown

 

The ability to look beyond the obvious; to hold a reverence for life and its mysteries, even when we don’t understand what it all means; such is the path of the mystic. It’s not always an easy road, but for some, it’s the one that calls the heart.

At some point over the past months, my normally multi-colored world lost its vibrance. At first I thought it was just a temporary funk. Over time, it became clear that I had lost track of something vital to the way I have interacted with the world. And I couldn’t figure out exactly what it was that was missing or why. I lost perspective and had no clue how to get back to ‘normal’. Believe me, I tried.

For nearly twenty years, I have acted as a guide and way shower for others, navigating the often tricky trail of discovery and recovery of inner knowing via the inner being, the True Self. Much of my adult life has been dedicated to liberating myself from the tangled web of misunderstanding of who I am and what I am here to do. After all this time of feeling I knew what this was all about and how to walk my talk, no one was more surprised than I to find myself in such a desolate place. The interesting thing is, this was all an internal process. I was grieving something I couldn’t even name. I guess this is what it feels like to be in a cocoon…

As a Gemini and an astrologer I have often spoken about Gemini natives being the ‘Butterfly of the Zodiac’. The thing they don’t teach you in astrology books or classes is that those butterfly wings take time to develop. None of us start out knowing how to fly. Only after that caterpillar has completely released all it knew itself to be, does the transformation into butterfly begin.

One day, out of the blue, a warm, inviting breeze of inspiration began to blow. Emerging from the cocoon, not a little disoriented, I squint into the sunlight.

It isn’t just Gemini natives who undergo metamorphosis, especially these days. Eventually, we all go through it. This is particularly true in the current energetic climate that is challenging so many in ways they never dreamed they’d be tested. This is an organic process that has its own beginning and end. Astrology can be a helpful tool in understanding what we are going through. The more we can allow ourselves to be where we are in the moment, without struggling or judging, the more swiftly we can flow from there into a state of nonresistance that frees us from entanglements.

For me, inspiration is key. It is my touchstone. It’s how I know whether I am in a state of flow or resistance. Inspiration and resistance cannot coexist. If we are pushing against anything, we block everything that could otherwise show up in our lives in response to our desires. Letting go of the things that don’t really belong to us, releasing the outworn beliefs we’ve forgotten aren’t ours and giving up the ego identities that have kept our spirits boxed up and contained, will go a long way toward creating the breathing room we need in order to live the life our heart can embrace.

It really is darkest before the dawn. Sometimes fear wins for a while. It takes us down into the places within us that need to be seen and known so we can understand more of the truth of who we are. Morning does dawn, eventually, allowing us to see all in a new light, our energy renewed, inspired to create something we may never before have imagined.

When we are inspired, we see potential everywhere we look. The world calls us forth. We become a rainbow of living color that radiates out to touch all around us. Inspiration is not a switch we can consciously turn on or off. It is a function of the spirit. As we become more sensitive to what is happening in our inner world, navigating Life’s peaks and valleys gets easier and more rewarding. The most important thing is to keep coming back to the refuge of the heart. In the dark of night, it is there, pounding out the rhythm keeping us here, on sunny days, it is our truest guide to creating the life of our dreams.

May the mystical magic of your heart guide you ever onward to remembering just what a precious presence you are in this world.

Love,

Jodi

 

 


Aloha, Light In Motion

IMG_6521I lived in Hawaii for a while, over a decade ago. In fact, Light In Motion was conceived and launched in the summer of 2001, within a month of moving to Oahu. So much has happened in the time in-between that it is hard to recall the arc of this journey and the people who made it possible. In January, I went to the islands for a Hoop Dance Retreat and the spirit of aloha that had once been a part of my daily life re-emerged and appeared all around me. Suddenly, every stranger at the retreat was greeting me with, “Aloha!” Not only that, the people I was with seemed to recognize something about me that I’d forgotten about myself. They could see I had something for them and trusted me to deliver it, even though we’d just met.

A few years ago, after years of doing readings and intuitive sessions for clients; teaching classes in meditation and developing intuition; and holding monthly gatherings for the women in my community, I hit a wall. My energy and enthusiasm began to wane. I felt overwhelmed, discouraged and when business began falling off, I lost all interest. Truth is I needed a big time out. I had lost track of my vision and sense of purpose. And yet, I’d worked so hard, spent decades of my life reading the books and taking the classes, being mentored by a couple of amazing women and building a client base, that I was terrified of letting it go. Much of my identity was tied to Light In Motion and I was afraid of disappointing people. I stood at cross purposes with myself for years, really, before I finally, finally admitted I just couldn’t do it anymore.

After a while, I took a job-job, working in an office forty hours a week and did a customary Bay Area commute. And it was hard. Much harder than I’d imagined it would be. It made me long for the days when I ran my own show, as it were. It helped me to see things differently. And I grew as a person in ways I hadn’t been forced to able to, earlier in my working life.

When the project I was hired for wound down, I was laid off and had no idea what was next. I traveled, spent a lot of time at home, alone in deep reflection about how to move forward and laid low for months. During that fallow period, my interest was sparked by a  six-week online/teleconference program called Waking the Wild Woman. As I attended the weekly calls and connected with other women who shared my interest in the revitalizing the Divine Feminine, on the Facebook group, a part of my psyche that had lain dormant for years was, indeed, reawakened. The course helped me begin to see myself with new eyes. It started to dawn on me that all those years spent wandering through the desert, feeling my way through the darkest of nights were the only way my body had of integrating what I’d spent decades collecting, learning, teaching and finally releasing.

Integration doesn’t happen when we are actively engaged with something. It only happens when we let go. As long as we cling, much of the magic and mystery inherent in that thing will elude us. It is only when we set it free and give it time that we can know what it means, and whether it belongs to us.

Aloha, in simple terms means hello, good-bye and I Love You. Light In Motion was reawakened with the breath of Aloha on the Big Island of Hawaii. Seems only fitting to experience such a full circle moment at a hoop retreat, in the islands my heart has long called home.

So, in the weeks to come, while *Mercury is retrograde, Light In Motion will undergo a review, reconsideration and repackaging of its offerings and re-emerge refreshed (maybe even be renamed) and ready to get busy.  I look forward to reconnecting with former clients and meeting many new people along the way . Aloha!

Love, Jodi

*This cycle of Mercury’s retrograde phase goes from February 6-February 28, 2014


Sagittarius New Moon ~Shooting at the Moon

Yesterday was the day of the Sagittarius New Moon. New moons initiate new cycles of growth and development. The Sun and Moon together in Sagittarius–sign of Truth, Faith, Intuition and Aspirations–invite us to aim high, like the archer that symbolizes this sign, while keeping our feet on the ground, connected to the instinctive nature of the body that is constantly offering us feedback about whether we are being real with ourselves.

The positions of the other planets at the time of this new moon sets the stage for intense, transfomative conversations that can lead to tangible improvements in our businesses and lives. The stage is set for purging the old ideas and visions that time has shown us will no longer hold water, so we are free to embrace something that will work for us now.

Our definition and understanding of Love is changing, too. Whereas Love has been a largely accepted as the personal province of romance or what we feel for family and friends, we are now beginning to understand that Love is so much more than that. Love is the essence of our human nature. Without Love we will truly cease to exist. Of this I am certain. It is time for expanding our experience of Love and its expression in our lives.

You may think I’m shooting at the moon. My North Node is in Sagittarius and I have spent my life in service to learning to aim high and shoot straight–letting go of my Gemini South Node tendencies to fritter away my time on inconsequential things and hold back on speaking what I know I need to say rather than being forthright and direct.

I have faith that we are capable of embodying and expressing the loving aspects of our essential nature in more significant ways than most of us have done up until now. At this time of year, especially, we are presented with one opportunity after another to choose to express love instead of pretending we don’t notice, choose optimism instead of dread, choose faith instead of falling backward into fear. There is so much speculation about 2012 and what it means. To me, it means a gigantic opportunity to make a change. To Love first and ask questions later. To Love more and worry less. Perhaps most important of all is that we learn to Love ourselves every bit as well as we love our friends, family and children. Choosing to love when you don’t feel like it may be the most life-changing thing you ever do. Love now. Love big. Shoot for the moon.

With oodles of Love,
Jodi


Dream A Little Dream Of Spring

Spring waits in quiet splendor just around the bend
These last days of winter dawn softly
Releasing the final vestiges of the past twelve months
Days grow longer; sunlight slowly overtaking the night

Dream time is rich; filled with vibrant images
People long gone but never forgotten by the heart
Appear full of life and laughter
Singing the timeless greetings of their spirit

Everything is possible in this nebulous world of wonder
Beauty reaches new heights in this sacred space within
Flashes of insight and seeds of potential in glimmers of grace
Carry their promise on the breeze of imagination.

Exotic flowers in full bloom carry me back to the island life I left behind
I see the shining sea and the bougainvillea-lined lane of my morning runs
The magical beach I walked at sunset rejoicing in the splendor of Life
Lives and breathes in the eternal springtime of me, still.

© 2007, 2010 Jodi Flesberg Lilly


Coming Home to Love

Thoughts on Love…

Love is letting go of all we’ve been so we can be all we are. And in so being, become a beacon to others who are ready to let Love lead them home to all they are.

The truth written in the stars
Lives within the heart.
As above, so below.
As within, without.
We have lived so long beside ourselves
Hoping someday to go home.
It seems the time is here and now.
It’s safe to come back home.

Home is not another place
It isn’t out there somewhere.
Home is a tucked inside the heart
Where all is safe and warm.
It isn’t what you thought it was,
It isn’t a mystery.
It is simply letting go of all
You once thought it might be.
Letting go and giving up
The tricks and traps and rules.
At home you are free
To do exactly as you choose.

It was never about being good enough
Or right or careful or wise.
Home holds its doors out wide
Come on in, you decide.
Home is the place you can always go,
You’re always welcome, always known.
At home there’s no need to be special or good,
Who you are is understood.
You can catch your breath and take a break
And rinse off the debris of the day.
You can kick off your shoes, take off your tie
And sit before the fire with a good glass of wine.

At home you are seen and known and heard
There’s nothing you need to do.
You can hear your heart and find your rhythm
And live the way you choose.
At home you are free of the trappings;
The shoulds, hows and wherefores all cease.
You can let go of all the believing
And simply let yourself BE.

Be yourself. Live your life. Love yourself. Love your life.


Today I Open

Today I open to possibilities
And entertain the ones that shine

Today I willingly speak my truth
And release the dreams that aren’t mine

Today I trust my instincts
And follow the inner signs

Today I open my heart and mind
And revel in a breath at a time

Today I dare to love what I love
And leave the rest behind

(C) 2010 Jodi Flesberg Lilly ~All Rights Reserved


Keep The Channel Open

Martha Graham offered this brilliant advice–these famous words–when, according to Agnes de Mille: “I was bewildered and worried that my entire scale of values was untrustworthy. … I confessed that I had a burning desire to be excellent, but no faith that I could be. Martha said to me, very quietly,

There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique.

And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it.

It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.

You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. … No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.” ~Martha Graham

I read the first part of this quote many years ago but it was only recently that I discovered the rest of it. Tonight it really spoke to me–the part of me and so many others I know who struggle with doubts and wonder sometimes why we do what we do and when we will finally feel we have it right.

Here’s to all the artists.


Time Is On My Side… Yes it is

“Chronos is clocks, deadlines, watches, calendars, agendas, planners, schedules, beepers. Chronos is time at her worst. Chronos keeps track. …Chronos is the world’s time.

Kairos is transcendence, infinity, reverence, joy, passion, love, the Sacred. Kairos is intimacy with the Real. Kairos is time at her best. …Kairos is Spirit’s time.

We exist in chronos. We long for kairos. That’s our duality. Chronos requires speed so that it won’t be wasted. Kairos requires space so that it might be savored. We do in chronos. In kairos we’re allowed to be … It takes only a moment to cross over from chronos into kairos, but it does take a moment.

All that kairos asks is our willingness to stop running long enough to hear the music of the spheres.” ~Sarah Ban Breathnach

I’ve been thinking a lot about time, lately. The longer I live the more precious time is to me. When I find myself caught up in a flurry of activity that I know means nothing to me I’ve learned to stop and check in with myself to see how I got there. The next time I won’t be so quick with my yes. Giving myself time to feel into something before I decide makes all the difference in the quality of my life.

It’s taken many decades for me to realize I could change the way I relate to time. I see now that time is my ally, here to serve me, if I allow it. Time creates a framework for experiences; it offers the grace of a supportive structure in which to learn and love one another and make wise choices that allow us to live well.

And with one simple breath I can transcend that structure and experience the expansiveness of Being. That always gets my Yes.

Time, like energy and attention is one of the natural resources with which life blesses everyone. We all have the same amount of each to spend or squander, as we choose. How do you experience your relationship with time? What is time telling you?